Tuesday, October 30, 2007

You Might Be a Creepy Seminary Guy If...


I hadn't heard of this label until I arrived here at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary. When I was in college at Union University, most young women figured they would get their Mrs. Degree before graduation. For many students, marriage was their 4-year goal. But in seminary, it is often expected that the student will already be married before enrollment. In my experience, the peer pressure put upon single students to marry is exceedingly beyond anything I knew at college. I suppose it is this high stakes game of "keeping up with the Joneses" that has given birth to the concept of "The Creepy Seminary Guy," that creature which no man desires to be as perceived as. But what does this term mean and what kind of fellow meets the criteria? I propose to offer some suggestions:

You might be a Creepy Seminary Guy if...

1. If you go to a Boyce College [SBTS's undergraduate Bible school] social event to scout out "the prospects"...

2. If your Facebook "friends" are mostly young ladies you haven't met face-to-face...

3. If you refer to your Facebook friend accumulations as "research and development"...

4. If you plan your course schedule based upon which girls are signed up for which classes...

*BONUS*: If you feel God has called you to a church with a large single ladies' ministry...

5. If you've ever called a girl in response to an unspecified "Roomate Wanted" flyer and proposed matrimony right over the phone...

6. If your "little black book" consists of the campus student directory (minus the Seminary Wives section, of course)...

*BONUS* If that "little black book" does indeed include the Seminary Wives section, then you are without a doubt a creepy seminary guy who should re-evaluate your calling.

7. If you can't remember the chapel sermons because you spent the whole time staring at a pretty face in the choir...

8. If the first thing you look for in a woman is whether she has a ring on her left hand...

9. If you memorize a girl's class schedule to increase your chances of running into her...

10. If you are single... and in seminary...

Then you might be a Creepy Seminary Guy!

In Jest and Joviality,
I am,
On the Shoulders of Giants

4 comments:

  1. I applaud you Mr. Winters on another classic contribution to the World Wide Web. :)

    Unfortunately, you did not follow one of the suggestions of your posts. There is a typo in your first point. :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks for confirming my suspicions of myself...lol.

    I'm off to the Jo-bowl.... (now where'd i put my cologne?....)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Anonymous11:03 AM

    Today is the one month anniversary of this post. You better get a postin'!!! You can blog on "Why All SBC Ministers Should Abstain From Both Alcohol Fried Chicken." This way you can make every young reformer in the SBC mad at you. You might even 40+ comments and get blogged about by others! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anonymous11:04 AM

    Edit: "Why All SBC Ministers Should Abstain From Both Alcohol and Fried Chicken"

    ReplyDelete